How do you deal with all the frustration that comes from raising a family? What is the secret of being happy and calm? How can we be more mindful in our parenting and guiding children to be their best selves?

Many of us want to raise our kids in a way that will allow them to grow into adults who are confident, caring, and happy.

We want them to be successful, and we want their successes to come from doing the right thing rather than just being lucky.

Conscious Discipline is a parenting philosophy that teaches parents how to teach and nurture their children so they and the whole family can thrive.

In this blog post, I will introduce you to conscious Discipline, a way of parenting that helps you take care of yourself and teach your children self-control and love for others. It may seem hard at first, but I hope you’ll see how easy it really can be after reading this article.

What is Conscious Discipline?

In a nutshell, Conscious Discipline a parent-led framework for guiding children’s behavior, feelings, and actions in the context of teaching self-control. Simply put, we teach a child age-appropriate skills on how they can use their words and problem-solving skills when faced with difficult situations. 

“One guiding truth about life is that what you offer to others, you strengthen within yourself.”


The author of several Conscious Discipline Books, Dr. Becky Bailey, defines it as “the intentional use of awareness to guide desired behavior.” 

This is different from punishment because it focuses on what’s going on inside the child’s feelings, thoughts, and needs rather than just focusing on what they did wrong or how bad they feel when mom or dad yells at them. 

A Parenting Style Rooted in Brain Research

It is based on brain research, which tells us that our brain can learn best when it’s calm and not in the midst of an emotional storm. And punishments don’t calm the storm, it prolongs it which makes it less effective in healthy learning and growing.

Children Are Not Adults

As adults, we need to face the uncomfortable truth, children are not little adults. They have a limited capacity for self-regulation and decision-making when they’re in distress or must make tough decisions independently.

The key to conscious parenting is understanding that your child isn’t just like you–they don’t always know the best answer yet and need support when faced with something uncomfortable or difficult without any adult help near them.

Conscious Parenting is About Empowerment

With the emergence of mindfulness, parents can support their children on how to identify and understand thoughts that can be applied universally. Practicing Conscious Discipline is an empowering tool for all involved. It teaches essential skills rather than getting punished for the lack of them while respecting each person’s individuality and fostering unconditional love.

That is why this approach differs from time-out approaches and shaming, as it wants to draw out the good in children because we wholeheartedly believe that it’s there. The goal of conscious Discipline is not to make punishment or shame a tool for teaching your child about their misbehavior. Instead, it’s building skills to empower them by helping them learn how to identify their emotions, understand the reasons for their behavior, and make good choices.

What Are The 3 Core Components of Conscious Discipline?

Conscious Discipline evolves around three components: safety, connection, and problem-solving.


Safety is the foundation of conscious Discipline because a child’s brain needs a physical and emotionally safe environment to develop healthy so t can learn and grow best. It means a child can rest in a secure relationship with a caregiver who understands their needs and can support them unconditionally.


Connection allows a child’s self-esteem and mental health to develop through being seen, heard, valued for who they are. It also fosters the development of empathy in children, which helps them learn how to respond appropriately when someone else experiences distress or sadness.

Furthermore, connection is the process of tying feelings to words, allowing children to express themselves and understand their own thoughts. That’s why adults need to provide kids with the awareness and language how to name their emotions–so they can better regulate them—because you have much more control over a feeling when you know what it is.


Problem-solving rounds out the core components of conscious Discipline. It’s about helping children to solve problems collaboratively and independently rather than creating a power struggle.

Discipline based on punishment disregards the child’s feelings and experiences, whereas Discipline based on empathy and empowerment encourages the child to take responsibility for his or her own actions.

When we practice these disciplines with compassion for ourselves and others, it will help us live a better life as well!

What Are The 7 Skills of Conscious Discipline?

The Seven Skills of Conscious Discipline can transform everyday discipline issues into teaching moments and are the foundation of problem-solving. These moments are an opportunity to teach children the social-emotional and communication skills necessary for managing themselves, resolving conflict, preventing bullying, and developing prosocial behaviors. The seven skills are:


Composure can be loosely defined as maintaining a calm and collected demeanor in emotionally charged moments or environments. The best way to inspire composure is by modeling it. As parents, we have a responsibility not only to show our children how to handle their emotions but also to be natural and normal. This means being in touch with your own feelings as well so you can help your child manage theirs.


Encouragement can be defined as positive communication intended to make someone feel better and more confident. The best way to teach encouragement is by modeling it too. We can do this by praising our child’s efforts, letting the child know we believe in them, or letting them know we are on their side in moments of distress.

Encouragement doesn’t include rewards or an incentive nor external factors such as grades for performance in sports. Rewards can take away from the feeling of accomplishment by making them feel they need something outside themselves.


Assertiveness is a skill can help our child learn to say no and set healthy boundaries for themselves. It requires honesty and self-respect. It can also teach a child the value of listening, compromise, negotiation, and problem-solving skills, which will help them for life in any endeavor they pursue. Being assertive is essential not only at home but also with peers or adults outside of the family.


Choices are helpful because they teach a child that he/she can make decisions for themselves and be responsible for the outcome. When a child understands that their choices come with and without consequence, they tend to be more thoughtful in how they make decisions. This can help them learn the hard lesson of patience and lead to better decision-making skills later in life.


Empathy is the to see through someone else’s eyes and understand what it might feel like for them. When we meet our children with empathy, it teaches them to be more compassionate, kind, and helpful. Empathy is a learned skill and is part of emotional intelligence. We can develop empathy by imagining what our child might feel like in a given situation. This will benefit our children by teaching them to be more patient and understand what others might feel.

Empathy can also teach our kids how to make someone else feel when their behavior is not aligned with these values. When we give a child empathy, we allow them to take responsibility for the consequences that come from their actions or words.

Positive Intent

Positive Intent is another pillar of Conscious Discipline. It is the idea that all human beings have a desire to do good and be well. When we interact with our children from this place, it helps them feel safe enough to learn through their mistakes or take responsibility for what they did wrong without feeling judged or like they are being punished.

It helps children to take the responsibility to solve problems and encourages cooperation.


Natural Consequences are fundamental to learn from a mistake. The difference between natural consequences and punishments is that there is no shame or blame involved-instead it’s an opportunity to learn from mistakes. Punishment models can be shaming, leading children to feel like they are worthless-“I’m bad.”

How Do You Use Conscious Discipline?

The most important question for a parent coming from a control and punishment-based parenting style is how to use Conscious Discipline. This is a challenging question for many parents because they are not used to trusting their instincts and are afraid of being permissive when not using punishments. 

The most important question for a parent coming from a control and punishment-based parenting style is how to use Conscious Discipline. This is a challenging question for many parents because they are not used to trusting their instincts and are afraid of being permissive when not using punishments. 

However, punishments are not the only way to discipline, and there are many other tools available for parents who want to raise children with a sense of self-worth.

Conscious Discipline is based on respectful and peaceful parenting. It is a gentle approach that honors the child’s feelings and needs in combination with firm limits set by parents to protect their children from harm.

The parent plays a crucial role in creating a loving and nurturing environment to establish an honest, respectful relationship.

The process begins when parents take responsibility for their own feelings rather than blaming their children first. This way of parenting requires that children be allowed to respond and learn from natural consequences without punishment.

Parents are using knowledge of what is developmentally appropriate for their child’s age level and stage in life and come from a place or a loving guide when choosing which parenting techniques will work best.

It involves having compassion for your children; understanding that they are learning beings who make mistakes.

9 Tips How To Practicing Conscious Discipline In Your Family

  1. Spend quality time with your family, even if it’s just for 10-15 minutes a day

  2. Be honest and open about how you’re feeling – no one can read minds!

  3. Create an environment where everyone feels safe to express themselves

  4. Try not to get frustrated when things go wrong; instead, find solutions together as a team

  5. Create a calm environment for your family

  6. Seek to understand before you are understood

  7. Be mindful of the words you speak and how they affect others

  8. Set aside time for yourself, so you don’t feel resentful or burned out from taking care of everything all the time

  9. Develop routines that work best for your family’s needs and lifestyle


Conscious discipline is a parenting philosophy that believes in the power of self-control and regulation in both the child and the parent. When practicing conscious discipline the parent strives to be more aware of their child’s needs, desires, or frustrations before reacting impulsively. They also seeks to develop empathy for their children by considering what it would feel like if they were on the receiving end of an unwanted action from another person. They are proactive about setting good boundaries with their kids and have clear rules.

Conscious discipline is a way to teach your children values without yelling or using punishment. It’s about teaching them what they should do rather than telling them what not to do and then punishing the bad behavior when it happens

There are many benefits to practicing this type of parenting style including less frustrated parents who know exactly how best to address more challenging issues like anger management at home so everyone benefits from happier family.

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